The Video That Changed My Life (The Still Face Experiment)

I have watched this video at least 100 times.   Told my friends about it.  Lectured about it.  It changed my life, by showing me what is connection and disconnection.  Perhaps it is why I am so fascinated by connection.  When you see it, and really soak it in, think about all its implications, it changes everything!

Before I go any further, please watch it and pay close attention to it, and ask yourself these questions:

How does the mother and child connect with each other?   

How does the child try to connect with the mother when the mother has a still face?

Here is what I noticed from the video:  

1st the mother interacts beautifully with the infant.  They are mirroring each other: smiling together, moving their hands together, following each other’s cues, and when the baby points, the mother looks.  Of note, when studying healthy parents who are instructed to play with their infant, this type of attunement (“acting the same way at the same time”) only happens on average 13% at 3 months, 10% at 6 months and 21% at 9 months (Tronick, 2007 p 155).  Acting the same at the same time only happens ~15% of the time in normal infant-mother interactions so don’t worry if you are not doing this all the time!

Various authors call this type of connection different things including: synchrony, reciprocity, matching, coherence, mutual delight, affective attunement, and intersubjectivity…  

Then the mother is told to not move and hold a “still face”. 

In this film a normal baby (without attachment issues) is interacting with a normal mother (without depression or drug/alcohol issues).  In contrast we can think of many reasons why a “still face” would happen over and over frequently through a child’s life: 

• Alcoholic parent: the parent’s intoxication prevents normal mirroring
• Drug using parent: consider a mom on meth who is frantic, hyper, and not emotionally responsive
• A parent who is very self-focused 
• Parents being glued to the TV or phone (something for most of us to think about!)
• A depressed mother or father whose face shows less emotion.  A Study has show that depressed mothers were only in social play 5% of the time whereas infants of normal mothers were in play about 13% of the time (Tronick, 2007 p 160) 
• Imagine the baby moves from foster care to foster care where they are neglected

In this video, the baby has different tactics to re-engage the mother.  Think about how we also have these tactics to engage other people!   The child tries to signal the mother to reengage in all the ways he has in the past.  This is done by either signaling with positive affective tones (e.g cooing), neutral affective tone (pick me up gestures), or negative affective tones (making a fuss).  

You can see the child pointing, trying to touch the mother, and then scream… all things that normally would elicit some connection.  

Then the child bites himself, goes into what I would consider a fight and flight sympathetic state.  Anger expressions are evident.  He tries to self comfort himself, which in the still face experiment is classified as oral sucking, self-clasping, or rocking.  He will also try to shift his focus, on objects and on his self.  

When the child goes into shut-down or dissociation, biologically the child enters a dorsal vagal state and certain higher functioning brain areas are going off line.  He looks away.  Body posture falls apart, and at this state, if you are tuned in, you might feel slightly light-headed even watching it.   You can see the distress in part on this mother’s face, who is trying her best to follow the research proticol.  In the still face experiment they classify these states as withdrawal, escape or avert/scan.  

Research showed that when that child was re-intruduced to the same room months later cortisol levels (a stress hormone) were higher then normal.   

How this changed my life:

1.  I started noticing when I was disconnected or “still faced” with my family and those I interact with professionally.  

2.  I spent time breaking down the components of connection and disconnection which I will further elaborate in future posts.  

3.  I started noticing more and more the world of non-verbals.

4.  I now know consciously why when I receive a “still face” from someone else it is so painful.

So have you ever noticed when someone is mirroring you or not mirroring you well?  What have your experiences been like?  

Tronick,  Ed, “The Neurobehavioral and Social-Emotional Development of Infants and Children” 2007